From: jim.speirs@canrem.com (Jim Speirs)
To: dannys@iis.ee.ethz.ch (Danny Schwendener)
Subject: Hitchless Hiking
Summary: Hiking is to Scouting what cleanliness is to Godliness and, if
 you love to go a'wandering, your knapsack on your back, these few
 suggestions may reduce the risk of a walk on the wild side.



Article #R162c.
---------------

Hitchless Hiking
Colin Wallace
The Leader, April 1983


Hiking is to Scouting what cleanliness is to Godliness and, if
you love to go a'wandering, your knapsack on your back, these few
suggestions may reduce the risk of a walk on the wild side.

Why take a hike at all? A purpose will help you avoid meaningless
meandering. Remember that statements like: "It seemed like a good
idea at the time" will be totally inadequate when you're 15 miles
from home and plagued by blisters, cramps, and aching muscles.
Similarly unexciting will be: "Because it was there". In any
case, Sir Edmund Hillary has first dibs on that particular
phrase. Focussing on the purpose of your hike may also keep you
from strangling that impatient Scout who always asks, "Are we
nearly there yet?", three seconds after you set out.

Whither shall you wander? A hike plan is essential, especially in
a movement where preparedness is the watchword. Take maps and a
compass and, at your home base, leave a schedule of your trip
with someone reliable. Your plan should include proper clothing.
I know one chic chump who was crippled for weeks with severely
chapped thighs because he insisted on wearing burlap britches;
fashionable but foolish. High heels are also out, and open-toed
sandals, cowboy boots and satin pumps are only appropriate for
beach bums, bronco busters, and ballerinas.

Once you're on the road, periodically check for hot spots. No,
not the local discotheques. I mean inspect your feet for
potential blisters and treat any likely areas with a little
moleskin (How you catch the little mole is your problem). Foot
hygiene is important, so carry spare socks and remember to
launder your sweaty socks before they sprout mushrooms or
penicillin cultures. On the other hand, if you neglect them long
enough, you might be able to use them as homing devices. Of
course, you should never wash your socks or even soak your feet
in any stream, however inviting it may appear. Use a basin;
otherwise, the poor guy downstream from you will risk athlete's
mouth.

If you have to travel off the road, don't climb over fences. Use
the gates, and observe the Keep Off, Private, and Trespassers
Will Be Prosecuted signs. Loosely translated, they mean Keep Off,
Private, and Trespassers Will Be Prosecuted.

Avoid walking along railway tracks. They're built for speeding
locomotives, not people. Try using those low handrails and you'll
see what I mean.

Drink water only from your canteen, unless the source of water is
labelled Safe. Even then, you should probably disregard the Safe
sign if the waterhole is littered with bleached bones.

There's always a chance of getting lost, but don't be tempted to
carve or spray paint your initials as trail markers. If you must
mark your route, use breadcrumbs, Hansel and Gretel
notwithstanding. Or, you might follow the example of one tyro
tenderfoot I knew who squeezed a trail of toothpaste. Best way is
to memorize outstanding landmarks, but make sure you pick
something fixed and permanent, not a mobile home or a cloud
formation. Also note that a shortcut is defined as a route where
you can't find anyone else to tell you where you are.

Pack it in. Pick it up. Pack it out. Don't leave any kind of
litter. This includes any trash you find along the way. Yes, yes,
we know it doesn't belong to you, but remember that someone will
come behind you and pick up all your rubbish.

Morale boosters are important, but singing, "We're on the upward
trail" is inspiring only for the first hour.

Inevitably, nature will call and, if you gotta go, you gotta go.
Dig a small cat hole, use it, cover it and mark it. This applies
especially if you're hiking through downtown Winnipeg.

Hiking any kind of distance takes a certain amount of stamina.
Work out a training program and build up gradually. Not too
gradually, of course. Remember the Scout who wanted to toughen up
for camp, so he switched the setting on his electric blanket to
3.

It's discourteous for a group to take up the whole sidewalk, so
walk in single file where necessary. This may hinder easy
conversation, but it does make it simple to see if the guy ahead
of you needs a haircut. Keep together; no stragglers. Stay upwind
of the unwashed members of your party, if need be. Six kilometres
per hour is a fair rate of speed, but the group's pace should be
geared to the pace of the slowest member, unless he insists on
doing his Quasimodo impersonation at every opportunity.

Learn to walk correctly, with your toes pointed forward and
leaning forward from the hips. You're doing it wrong if everyone
who sees you coming starts to sing, "Here she comes, Miss
America!"

There will be unforeseen problems and turning back may be the
prudent thing to do. Temper this wisdom with the knowledge that
most problems occur on the way back. I guess this means that the
safest route is a big circle.

Hitch-hiking is still considered a form of begging and, as such,
is prohibited. Besides, look at Venus de Milo. She was a chronic
hitch-hiker who worked her thumb to the bone.

And don't forget to write a logbook and include some photographs
of each hike. You'll want to remember all the glorious details of
each and every journey.